Facebook Is Wiping Its Tears With Cash
Did you hear? The sky is falling, the sky is falling!
Yep, that’s what I heard too. So I went outside and looked up. Guess what I saw? The sky was, well, still in the sky.
There were, however, a few small pieces of #deletefacebook scattered on the ground. I just stepped over them and kept uploading photos, sharing memes, and acting amazed at my friend’s vacation spots.
I am concerned about those of you that discarded your FB–I don’t want to scare anyone by writing out “Facebook,” wait, doh!–apps on the ground, I offer you 10 alternatives:
- Call your friends.
- FaceTime your friends.
- Go visit your friends.
- Text your friends.
- Text them pictures of your kids and what you’re eating (that’s always so awesome!).
- Email your friends links to funny things you find on YouTube.
- Mass text your friends updates to your relationship status.
- Record your new fave song on a USB stick and mail it to your friends.
- Make sure and put all of your friends’ birthdays on your calendar.
- Advertise your business in ads in your local newspaper or Yellow Pages (Is that still a thing?).
Whew…you’re going to be BUSY! Good luck with that.
I’ll #keepfacebook for now and just watch my credit accounts for Russian advertising and hacks.
Oh, I forgot to mention! Did you see that video of…oooooh, sorry, never mind. Let me email you the link…
Also published on Medium.