Choose to Be as Happy as the Happiest Couple Ever

Soulmates.
Destiny.
Made for each other.
Once in a lifetime.

Sighhhh…HOGWASH.

Though I consider myself a romantic, I don’t buy into the above-listed notions. I don’t believe there is only one person out there for you. Do you have the guts to keep reading this…good! Hold on and let’s get to it…

[bctt tweet=”Any two people can be as happy as the happiest couple in history if they work toward the same goals and decide they want to be happy together. – Rusty Ellis (me)” username=”rustyellisnv”]

Done.

Questions? Okay, let me elaborate a little further.

Happiness vs Unhappiness

Let’s start with the opposite of happiness: unhappiness. At its core, unhappiness is selfishness. If either person in a relationship is selfish, the relationship is broken and is unable to achieve happiness.

Examine any failed relationship and you will find selfishness at its core. It’s there. Sometimes it’s apparent, other times it’s camouflaged, but it’s there. It may be shrouded in finger-pointing and self-serving accusations, but it’s there.

geralt / Pixabay

Blind Testing (or The Blind Date Test)

My relationship is the result of a blind date. Mutual friends put us in touch with each other. Unfortunately, the couple that matched us up is no longer together. Take a guess why? You got it.

My wife and I were introduced, dated, compared what we wanted in life, married six months later, and here we are coming up on 28 years together. And it’s been perfect…she’s one lucky gal (teasing, teasing, but she is 😉). Okay, perfect isn’t the right word. I actually think that perfect sounds a little boring. And I’ve made her life anything but boring (you’re welcome sweetheart).

We’ve adapted to each other and still have many of the same goals in mind we started our relationship with. Simple goals.

Acquire a good job.
Buy a decent home.
Have children.
Survive our children so we can have grandchildren.
Retire.
Live like grandparent rock stars.

Done, done, and working on it.

Huskyherz / Pixabay

Of course, we had our struggles, and many of them benefitted us, like being poor college students with kids. Surviving these years together made us stronger and appreciate things more fully. Fortunately, we both had parents that–though very different in their own relationships–taught us many things along the way. Again, we were blessed in that regard.

The “Spouse Clause”

This is different than our marriage certificate and agreement. This was a handshake and kiss (benefits of marriage) agreement we made early on. We agreed that she can, “Change me into anything she wants, as long as I don’t know she’s doing it.”

[bctt tweet=”Change me into anything she wants, as long as I don’t know she’s doing it.” username=”rustyellisnv”]

Of course, this is a little tongue-in-cheek. Ironically we actually do live by this and I have to call her out once and a while when I realize she got me to do more chores around the house, happily. (Read about it here)

Your Opinion

Well, what do you think? Is happiness in the stars, or is it a result of work, common goals, and selflessness? You have my opinion or at least the opinion that my wife has trained me to have (big grin).


Also published on Medium.

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