Do You Need to Sweat and Freeze to Strengthen Your Relationship
My wife needs a blanket and I need a fan. Our bodies simply disagree on the definition of a comfortable temperature.
She’s always cold (just ask her), and I’m always hot (and not like that, though I’m working on it).
Evidence Exhibit – Number One
Sitting on the sofa at night with our next cued up episode of Star Trek Voyager, she keeps a blanket next to her on standby. I turn the fan on low just above us, though high would be nirvana for me, and frostbite for her. And if it’s still too chilly for her, I go downstairs and heat up a hot-pack in the microwave and bring it up to set on her feet, under the covers. In the same trip, I usually grab another ice water for myself.
Evidence Exhibit – Number Two
At bedtime, the ceiling fan turns and moves the air, comfortable enough for me to usually tuck my feet under the covers and drift off to sleep. She puts an extra blanket on her side and a pair of socks. Some nights, I start off with the covers kicked off completely and she with the covers pulled up to her neck, deep in her pillow, her face peeking out.
Historical Data and Ski Masks
I once told her about growing up and liking my room cold, with only my face poking out of the covers. The feeling was awesome, the cold on my face, my body toasty warm under my comforter. Her response, “I really don’t like my face to be cold.” This from a girl that grew up in Idaho (aka – COLD Winters).
From her comments, I considered buying her a ski mask for bedtime to show my love and affection and caring for her and her comfort. I decided to forego this for several reasons:
- What if she started wearing it more often than bedtime (around the house, out to dinner, etc)?
- What color should I buy? Always a dilemma for most men.
- When wearing it to bed and smiling goodnight, would it creep me out?
- If it creeped me out would I have bad dreams?
- If I had a bad dream of the house being robbed, would I get paranoid that she’s the one that did it?
- What if a real robber came in the night, locked her out of our room, put on her mask and laid back down on her side of the bed?
- Most importantly, she’s just too dang good looking and I’d miss ogling at her face whenever I wanted.
What To Do, What To Do
How have we stayed together so long (28 years) and suffered in this weather paradox? Easy, I’m HOT. Kidding, kidding.
Our temperature polars have given us opportunities to be selfless. Many times she is the one turning on the fan in the bedroom at bedtime, for my comfort. If she’s cold watching television, I offer to get up and get her another blanket or run (okay shuffle) downstairs and heat her up a hot pack.
We watch out for each other. Again, it’s a matter of selflessness.
Buy A Car!
We recently had an amazing breakthrough. We bought a brand new car a few months ago. She works hard at her job (Realtor) and puts a lot of miles on her vehicles. It was time to look at new vehicles, and we had one of our college kids that were struggling with getting to school and work each day and could use mom’s old car.
We went to the dealership—where another son works as a salesman, did I mention I have several kids—and bought a car with the comforts and bells and whistles she needed. Okay, she may not agree that she needed them, but I wanted her to have them.
Why do I tell you this? Hang on, I’m getting there.
We were driving down the freeway the other day and the weather was a little toasty (to me). I casually reached up and turned on the air conditioning—on low, I’m not heartless—to which she reached to turn on the heat. Are you ready for this? My side of the car was blowing sub-arctic air! Her side of the car was pulling in the hot temperatures from outside and directing it at her like a blowdryer.
Realizing this, the stop-and-go traffic became a byproduct. At that moment, I could have pulled off to the side of the freeway and just sat there and basked in the genius of this relationship-enhancing vehicle. At once, it had winter in one hand and summer in other, doling it out on command to its precious cargo (and me)!
So did your new Chevy save our relationship? Nah.
Will my wife survive the winter and also the air conditioning in the summer? Yah.
Moral of the Story
Life is an opportunity to serve others. Every little thing you do makes a difference over time. Your little selfless acts for your spouse is like adding blessings to your Joint Happiness Account. And this account will help the two of you battle many of life’s storms together.
And lastly, if needed, use your bank account and buy a new Chevy!
Also published on Medium.