Life is Challenging, Just Ask Your Neighbor

I’ve met a number of people in my life that I would consider brave. When I think of these people, I think more so of people that have faced specific challenges in their lives and overcome. Maybe overcome is the wrong word. They may not have overcome their plight, but they either fought against it or embraced it tightly, owning it defining it on their terms.

I had a friend that was diagnosed with cancer. She spoke about being in the shower and having clumps of her hair come out in her hand — the side effects of chemotherapy. She took charge — to the best of her ability against her cancer and treatments — and shaved her head. If she was going to lose her hair, she was going to lose it on her terms. She then shared her experience with others that were struggling with the same dilemma; encouraging them to embrace this side effect, own it, take control of it on their terms. The term I would hear over and over again, “Empowering.” She didn’t recuse herself to her room but chose to reach out to others and to continue to be there in her roles as wife and mother, to the best of her ability.

I have a relative with a young son that is mentally and physically disabled. Instead of hiding away from the world, they document his positive strides and struggles for the family to see, through pictures and videos on Facebook. They have embraced their struggles (his struggles) and share their wins (his wins).

I have a sibling with medical challenges. The sibling has struggled with medical issues that have left doctors baffled, and my sibling in pain. My sibling fights against this ailment, and pain, through service to others. Through service to their family. When I think of this sibling, I picture their smile, not their plight.

Again I ask, “What makes a person brave?”

In these situations, why choose to be brave, versus caving into the pressures and mounting circumstances? Character and choice are notably present.

Combined, these two words can enable a person to face even the most heinous of life’s fiery darts. And through redundant in the case of the choice, you can “choose” to have a choice, and “choose” to have a good character.

“But what about…?” Think of every situation that you’ve ever heard of, especially stories of dire straights in history. In those stories, have we seen individuals rise above their physical, mental, innate, and even man-made treatment or control? Give me a tragedy and we will always find a bright spot, a story of an individual that has risen to the challenge. Many times that individual would be considered common, an everyday Joe or Jane. An individual “chooses” to make a difference, not for the sake of social media or grandstanding, but seeing a need, filling a need, tapping into their character and choosing.

The common thread, encompassing both character and choice, in all of these stories, is the verb “serve.” Every one of these individuals chose to serve those around them. Instead of becoming self-absorbed in their individual battles, they redirect outward and serve others.

The outcome of serving and service is powerful. It has the result of benefitting those around us. It has the benefit of building character. It has the benefit of strengthening our good choices. It has the benefit of losing ourselves in acts that forego our inward focus and transfers our talents and efforts to those around us. It helps us to recognize that we are not alone in our struggles. It distracts our personal struggle, giving focus to the needs of others.

This service does not have to come in the form of setting up a charity or charitable foundation. Depending on a person’s ability, it could come in the form of making a call or sending a text to a friend. It could come in the form of listening, really listening, to another person as they describe their challenges, not judging their challenge against your own. One example comes to mind.

My mother-in-law lived with us for the last few years of her life, before passing away. She struggled with a number of ailments, both physical and mental while living with us. From a portion of her modest income, she purchased material to tie little blankets, which she then donated to a charity organization. These blankets were used to give to new mothers with premature babies at the hospital. I recall her sitting in the living room, surrounded by fabric, working her hands slowly around the edges of the material, tying knots to make these beautiful little gifts. She made dozens of these blankets, serving others, focusing on the needs of others. It was truly an act of kindness and service, and a great example to me and my family.

Do you need a place to start? Who is the first person you think of when you consider those that may be struggling?

That first person that comes to mind could probably use a simple “just thinking about you and hope things are well” text, right…about…now!

You did it! Good job. Carry on…

Originally published at Man Ramblings.